Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
