Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
