He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
