I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
