I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
