If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
