Me. At least after what I've been through.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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