Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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