You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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