me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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