You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I understand Curling. That high.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
