So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
