In the future we'll all be gay
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
