his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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