i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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