just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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