wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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