I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
