Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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