I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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