A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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