sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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