She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
