Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
