I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
