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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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