why didn't you poke me back
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
