Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
