i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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