Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
