Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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