He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
