he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
