I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
