I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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