I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
