sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He better not be in your backpack
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
