You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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