just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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