i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
