i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
