If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
