If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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