So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
