I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
