By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
