I can tuck mytits in my pants
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
