My friends, they love my intelligence
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
