don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
