There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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