It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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